Now, we all occasionally hop on the Instagram band wagon and follow a few trends that literally take the world by storm, but do they really apply in real life or are these little tips, tricks and standards only for show? I’ve gone through a few things that beauty Instagrammers have shown in their posts and broken them down to see what exactly they’re actually “achieving” by doing all of these things.
***By the way, this blog post DOES contain images that are not of my own, grabbed off the internet and used throughout my blog post. Just clarifying that I do not claim ownership on any of the image materials (besides the ones of my face). Copyrights go directly towards those who own the images, or claim them as their own material.
OK, so we all know what I’m talking about when I say “Instagram eyebrows”. You know, the almost pitch black, super arched eyebrows that look as if they’re drawn on with a sharpie? It’s 2017 people, where them YouTube videos at that were released in 2015 telling you guys to NOT draw your eyebrows like these photos? Y’all are deadass crazy thinking you looking ready to snatch a few when you’re walking around like you just jumped out of the discover page.
Girl you think this cute? Really? Even if you excuse the facial expression, the weird ass looking lips I got going there and the fact my face wanna play a game called “let’s be one shade lighter than my neck”, I still look crazy. Now, to be quite frank, there is no problem with how thick or thin you want your eyebrow shape to be (within reason), the shade (again, within reason considering your hair color) or the shape (within reason, considering your face shape and desired appearance). There is a serious problem though, when your eyebrows look way too artificial in real life; to the point where the line between real and fake no longer exists and becomes an obvious slap to the face and your eyebrows screaming for visual attention. It’s offensive.
It’s so easy to avoid this look and I’m honestly surprised people still have issues with drawing on their eyebrows.
- Match the eyebrow hair color to your hair color. You can go up to 2 shades lighter/darker depending on your hair. For example, the darker your hair, the lighter (1 shade) your eyebrows should be and the lighter your hair, the darker (1 to 2 shades darker) your eyebrows should be. What annoys me the most is when you have ash blonde hair with a black brown toned eyebrow. No, just stop. Please.
- Keep the front of the brow lightly drawn and start to darken from the centre outwards. This creates a gradient effect and really gives your brows definition without the harshness that Instagram brows portray. This is also the most natural way to give you that strong brow look without looking too overwhelming.
- Brush your eyebrow hairs into place using a spooly and set into place with a brow mascara (tinted or clear, doesn’t really matter as long as it looks natural and matches your hair color). This softens the eyebrow makeup and grooms your brow hairs at the same time for a more clean and crisp looking eyebrow.
- Pencil is the easiest to use but powder is the most natural. If you opt for a pencil, with a light hand, you want to draw little lines in the direction your eyebrow hairs are growing to give the illusion of real brow hairs. You can also achieve this with liquid or pomade type eyebrow products, but be warned that the payoff for these two products are very strong and you want to be extremely careful at the front of your eyebrows.
OVERLY OVER LINED LIPS
Again, there is no need to be looking like the discover page on Instagram. I’m also not saying to not over line your lips, because I’ve seen people over line their lips and it does look cute at times. I’m talking about the people who go from teenage Kylie Jenner to adult Kylie Jenner with their lip products. You are not fooling anybody with that shit. Don’t act like we don’t see your natural lip line 5cm in from the start of your “cupids bow” you created with that mauve lip liner.
This also goes for people who get their plastic surgery done on the lips. This is a bit of a dangerous topic to talk about, but I’ll take the risk anyway. There is no problems with plastic surgery; heck I want my nose done to be honest with you all. You know, if you have the money and you want to, then who cares if you want to get yourself a little nip and tuck here or there. You know, a little upgrade. Where I’m getting at with this is the people who go to the extreme. tHE EXTREME!!1!
Now there are people who aren’t willing or able to get surgery. What’s the next best thing? The Kylie Jenner lip challenge of course! That is, if you’re jumping on the Instagram hype bandwagon with everyone else who will go to immeasurable lengths just because a celebrity promotes it on their page. You guys should know what I’m talking about. Remember the pictures and videos of the people who took shot glasses to their lips, busted their mouths open and had to go to the doctors for some stitches? Or those people who were lucky enough to avoid the glass shattering, but instead ended up with swollen lips and the appearance of the purple fish in Mario?
Now I personally don’t know how to over line lips without looking like an idiot, so unlike the eyebrow one, I’m not offering any advice other than to love your natural lip shape and work with what you got. If you can’t do that, then love what the doctor can and will give you instead. If neither work for you, then I guess there is a tutorial somewhere to help you achieve whatever it is you are looking for. Rule of thumb though, if your liner ends up on your skin, you probably took it too far.
I love me some DIY skincare, and I often go back to my good ol vegetable masks here and there, whenever my skin is purging with breakouts, but sometimes DIYs can get out of hand. If your DIY calls for more effort in actually making the skincare, or ends up being more expensive than buying skincare themselves, then wouldn’t it be easier for you to just go down to your local cosmetics store and buy whatever it is that you need? Also, trying to keep in mind that some ingredients aren’t the most friendly for your skin to begin with?
I recently saw a DIY that required you to create a paste using pure agar agar (gelatinous seaweed) mixed with gold leaf, crushed tomato pulp, melted honey and crushed fresh green tea leaves. I live in Australia. Where in the hell you gon find me some fresh tea leaves? You want me to buy some expensive ass gold leaves only to waste them by tearing it apart just to leave on my face for about 5 minutes? Agar agar? Girl you really trying it by telling me to pour hot agar agar onto my face before it completely solidifies at room temperature. The only facial I’m getting is a blood facial where the heat from the agar agar bout ready to rip and burn my skin wide open, for the tomato pulp to sting TF outta me. It’s completely OK though, because I’m making my way down to India, just so I can harvest a few tea leaves to put into my mask anyway. The 20hr flight will be worth it because the tea leaves will end up soothing my busted face and all that travel, time and effort will DEFINITELY be worth it in the end.
It sounds completely ridiculous doesn’t it. I’m not saying that all DIY projects are bad, but there are some out there that are on the borderline of being a little too “extra” and I personally find a tad unnecessary. If you’re going to do a DIY, then I strongly suggest using DIY ingredients that are very accessible and also things that won’t cost you an arm or a leg. Green tea for example, can be used for virtually anything. Simply grab a used green tea bag, leave it in the freezer overnight and you have an instant eye mask that will help to de-puff the eye bags. The tea itself is wonderful as a replacement for tap water that you can use if you have acne prone or dull skin. Decanting the tea into a little spritz bottle can replace your toner, or used on a few cotton pads will give you a 5 minute sheet mask. Soaked in a cotton gauze and wrapped around a stick will yield you a scalp cleaner that will pull sebum away from your hair, refresh it as if you used a shampoo and works wonders for dandruff.
If you’re going to be smart with your DIY projects, then you can save so much time AND money. If you’re hopping on the Instagram bandwagon however and following these meticulous and ridiculous tasks, then you’re going to end up with an empty bank account, and probably a damaged face.
MIRACLE UNICORN OIL
I love me some oil, but I hate using it with makeup. It must’ve been a few months back but this one brand took over the Instagram discover page as the “miracle product” to help prevent cakey makeup, keep your skin hydrated and give you an amazing glow to the skin. Is it necessary to have though? Hell no.
Did you know that makeup is all oil based? If you follow basic chemistry rules, it states that oil dissolves oil. Why is this important? Using an oil under or over your makeup will only speed up the process of makeup decomposition and unfortunately, that means more cakey looking makeup, a base that doesn’t last as long as you’d like to hope, and the fact that your skin feels oily (because you used an oil, duh) you will end up using all this excess powder to combat. The one rule when it comes to using a powder over an oil is to NOT. Makeup artists on Youtube all tell you to blot the excess oil off your face before you apply powder to prevent cakey makeup, so the fact that you have to remove the oil after you actually apply it defeats the whole purpose, and is a waste of money. On top of that, but combatting the oiliness calls for extra powder and mattifying makeup, which takes away the whole glow process, and makes you use more product than you usually do without an oil.
Keep in consideration that not all oils are good for the face and may clog pores. Be warned for you large pored, and oily skin types who want to go along with this hype; for you may be in for a lot of issues like blackheads, overly porous skin for example. My general rule for skin oils are that if it is readily emulsify-able in water, then it shouldn’t go near your makeup. If your oil only sits on the surface of the skin and doesn’t absorb, then it shouldn’t come near your face.
PEELING BLACK MASK
Now I thought this fad died back in 2012 but it’s 2017 and shit still going strong. This type of mask is the kind where you apply a thick layer to your dry skin (avoiding your eyebrows and hairline) and wait for 15 minutes until hard. You then peel away all of the uglies and take a close look at the mask to see how much crap comes out from it and be amazed at how filthy your skin is. Any of my readers will know that I absolutely HATE peeling masks, and find them so unnecessary. Unless it’s a modeling mask where it actually traps the moisture into your skin, peeling masks only cause you more damage in the end.
- Peeling mask causes extra tension to the skin which increases your skin’s aging process. Hi wrinkles
- Pulling off the mask also causes your skin to become irritated with it’s tugging. Remember that the peeling mask works like bandaid, and if you peel off bandaid from your skin, what happens? Exactly.
- The post treatment for peeling masks are virtually inexistent, if you follow any typical Westerner’s beauty journey. What even is skincare to them honestly? Pulling out blackheads from your face is one thing, leaving your pores wide open is another. If you don’t close up your pores and leave them dilated, they will REMAIN dilated, meaning unmanageable pores and more blockages. More blockages, means more oxidizing rates, and more oxidizing means more blackheads. More blackheads means more mask, and so on and so forth. You guys get the idea.
You then see the stupid people who place peeling mask all over their bodies and try to make it a trend. Yes, we see how idiotic you are and we see how much money you want to waste/how much extra time you have on your hands you’re using unnecessarily when there are more important or useful things you could be doing in the meantime; ie reading my blog. I won’t tell you to not buy the mask, but honestly, it’s a bit of a hit or miss sort of thing that I find causes more damage than any good.
One more thing, working in skincare, all peeling masks virtually work the same. Let me tell you how annoying it is, having to tell you guys that a peeling mask works no differently to the one shown on Instagram/Youtube and it’s only the color of the product that is different. If you specifically want the black mask because it’s what everyone else is using, then you’re dumb to deny purchasing a different brand/different color mask that works exactly the same, especially if the mask we are suggesting to you is cheaper.
UNDER EYE MASK
Ok, so this is where it gets a little bit extra. I love me some under eye mask from time to time; AT NIGHT. Not before makeup and most certainly not AFTER APPLYING FOUNDATION! People on Instagram are getting ridiculous putting a sheet mask on after applying their base makeup. Would you go and put a moisturizer on over your foundation? Why on earth would you want to put serum all around your eyes after makeup has been applied? It will destroy your hard work, and practically cause your makeup to break down or become cakey. Not only that but depending on the sheets you get, they can be really heavy under the eyes as well and don’t work as a basic prime for your eye bags.
My tip is to keep skincare as skincare, primer as primer and makeup as makeup. Fusing the three together works HORRIBLY and will only result in a waste of time and money. If you use the eye masks, then they work in the whole skincare thing you have going on, but used under makeup, depending on the formula can be a hit or a miss for you. Used above makeup, well… you’re pretty silly if you wanna go ahead and follow everyone else on Instagram.
This concludes my post; well, rant about the stupid shit that goes on throughout the discover page on Instagram. Know anything else that raises a few eyebrows that you’ve seen people do online for a little bit of fame or entertainment? Let me know, I’d love to voice my opinions.
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